I believe that adopting some good listening skills can solve a lot of problems in relationships today.  We human beings want to feel heard and understood more than anything else.  It’s a deep and primal need that we all have.  Therefore, if you focus on understanding your partner,  your turn to speak will come, and your partner will focus on you.

Here are easy ways to improve your listening skills and make your partner feel heard, loved and appreciated.


1. Don’t interrupt.

What is a better way of starting in this journey of adopting good listening skills than not interrupting others during communication?  Interrupting your spouse might come off as a sign of disrespect.  Find some way to remind yourself to keep quiet when your spouse is talking to you while waiting for your turn.


2. Be responsive.

During communication, don’t give the “I could not be bothered attitude.” Snubbing, your spouse, is a clear sign of lack of good listening skills.  Therefore, respond when your spouse is speaking to avoid friction, even if it’s just by nodding your head. It makes your spouse aware that you are listening.


3. Stop Multi-Tasking.

Avoid multi-task during communication with your spouse.  Stop everything you are doing when your partner is speaking with you and give them your undivided attention. When you occupy yourself with something else, you can’t pay attention, and your partner will unconsciously feel disrespected.


4. Listen without an agenda.

Usually, when we think we are listening, we are not.  Mostly we are planning what we’re going to say in response to what the other person said.  Instead, listen with no agenda and understanding what your spouse is trying to tell you.


5. Listen to learn.

Listen with the intention of learning more about whom your partner is, how they feel and so on.  Ask questions as soon as you don’t understand something about what they are saying, but stay focused on the main point of discussion.  If you don’t understand something they said and you don’t ask questions to clear the misunderstanding, your mind will get stuck on that thing, and you won’t hear anything afterward. It can show your partner that you’re interested and make them feel important and valued.  Your partner will love you for it.


6. Show respect.

Finally, on this journey of adopting good listening skills, start by showing your partner some respect.  Have respect for their point of view and feelings even if you disagree with them.  Don’t forget that Feelings are neither right nor wrong.

Respect is one of the highest expressions of love.  So without it, there is no love.


If you liked this article on Good Listening Skills, you might also be interested in Fighting Fairly in Marriage.