Having a happy marriage might seem like a lot of work, but the results are rewarding and worth it. No marriage is perfect, and it becomes quite clear once the honeymoon phase is over and the Euphoria dies down.  Keeping some critical steps in mind will help in maintaining a happy marriage.


1. Don’t get married unless you want to

I know this sounds so cliché but this is an essential part of having a happy marriage.  If you don’t want it in the first place, you won’t give it your all.

In some cultures, it is a taboo for a woman or a man to still be single at a certain age.  The family and friends start putting pressure on the person to get married.

Ideally, you want to spend the rest of your life with your spouse.  Therefore, make a choice depending on what you want and what makes you happy.

A marriage set on a wrong foundation will eventually succumb to that very foundation.  The domino effect will be inevitable, and the union will most likely end in divorce.



2. Know and Love yourself first

You have probably heard of the say;“you cannot pour from an empty cup” right? The same way, to love someone, you have to love yourself first.  Meaning, you have to be full of love to be able to pour love into others.

Therefore, love and be happy with yourself first before you can love and be happy with someone else.  Only then, should you embark on a journey of a happy marriage with another person.



3. Consider premarital Counseling

Premarital counseling is critical to tackling all the issues that might be of difficulty in the future.  The knowledge earned sets a healthy foundation for your future marital life.

Talk about things such as, what your financial situation is and how you are going to handle your finances when married.

Also, tackle issues like having kids and how you are going to raise them.  Don’t forget religion, especially if you and your spouse have different beliefs.



4. Communication is key

A successful connection starts with caring.  If you don’t care, it will show in everything you do. In your body language, your eye contact and the tone of your voice.

It’s impossible to communicate with a person who doesn’t care.  Always keep eye contact when communicating and get rid of all distractions like Television.



5. Avoid negativity

When a marriage becomes negative, we close our hearts to each other.  It’s the most intuitive thing that we do in a self-preservation mode.

Every good marriage has a positive tone.  Don’t forget that you fell in love by praising and complimenting each other. So, keep focusing on the things that you like about your spouse and deal with the things that you don’t like positively.



6. Be Honest

Always tell the truth even if the fact is unpleasant.  At the same time, keep in mind that telling the truth might lead to conflicts.



7. Fight fairly

We all have conflicts in our marriages, and it’s a healthy part of relationships. However, keeping it from turning into combat is the key.

It is the way you deal with the conflict that shows if you and your spouse go the distance in your marriage.  Learning some fighting-fairly skills is the way to go.



8. Learn to forgive/Learn to ask for forgiveness

Harboring grudges is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.  On the other hand, forgiveness opens the door to healing, reconciliation, and restoration.

As Christians we are forgiven by the Almighty God every time, so we don’t have the option not to forgive.

Keep in mind that forgiving doesn’t mean that you automatically forget. Therefore, to make sure that those hurts are not repeated, set up boundaries.

Similarly, if you are on the wrong, genuinely ask for forgiveness.  How you ask for forgiveness will determine how your spouse reacts to you.



 9. Pray together and for each other

Praying together and trusting God is the one thing that will make your marriage a happy one, and keep it on the right track.

Mathew 18 – 20 states: “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.  Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

So every married couple can claim this promise by praying together.  The unity of husband and wife joining together in prayer is the way to a happy marriage.  Hence they say, a family that prays together stays together.



 10. Keep intimacy alive

Lack of sex in marriage is a severe humbling problem and might even be what dooms the relationship itself.  Even after the honeymoon phase and the euphoria are long gone, keeping the intimacy alive is key to a happy marriage.

Without sex, the couple stops spending time together, and it places the marriage at risk of infidelity and divorce.  Lack of sex is, therefore, an alarm bell you should look for in your relationship.

The exception is when health issues are involved or when the married couple is okay with a sexless marriage.



11. Be each other’s Best friend

Ideally, in a happy marriage, husband and wife should strive to be each other’s best friend.  Developing a strong and genuine friendship with your spouse should come naturally.

Lean on each other for support, be sensitive to each other and trust each other.



12. The small stuff that matters

Giving each other compliments keeps the love alive in your marriage hence leading to a happy marriage.

Tell your spouse that you love them as often and as sincerely as you can. Don’t forget that you fell in love by praising and complimenting each other. So, keep that spirit alive.

Give gifts when not expected.  It doesn’t have to be something expensive; it’s the thought that counts.

Never underestimate the value of a date night.  It doesn’t have to be a candlelight dinner in a 5-star restaurant.

Remember the important dates and moments.  Forgetting anniversaries, birthdays or other important dates won’t be pleasing to your spouse.

Express your gratitude and appreciation to each other as often as necessary.

Be spontaneous by going into your spouse’s world and doing things that your spouse likes even if you don’t quite like them.



13. Having “Me Time”

Spending some time by yourself, and doing other things you love doing will help in maintaining a happy marriage.

So, take time out as an individual to do the things that you enjoyed doing before you got married.  Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you have to do everything with your spouse.



14. Respect your spouse

Respect is one of the highest expressions of love. Therefore, respecting your spouse is the most significant validation of your love for them.

Respect your spouse’s point of view and feelings even if you disagree with what they are saying.



15. Embrace the imperfections

Perfection is an unattainable goal.  Keep in mind that you are not perfect and accept that your partner is imperfect too.

Accept each other with all your imperfections. Be each other’s cheerleaders, stay connected and you will have a happy marriage.



Are you in a happy marriage? What are some of the things you and your spouse practice to stay happy?  Share your thoughts in the comment section below!


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